All I Want
by 1906
Summary: Based on the song All I Want by Kodaline, Beca is called in the middle of the night by Aubrey. Chloe is at the hospital, she probably won't make it through the night.
1. All I Want

**_Because I wanted to write a short OS based on this song because come on, she is so beautiful and nearly makes me cry each time. Also I'd like to thanks my dear friend Bechloehuh to take the time to correct me. Enjoy the reading guys, and sorry for the amount of sadness. _**

* * *

_All I Want_

Beca had tried. She had tried her best to get there as fast as she could. When she heard her phone vibrating in the middle of the night, first thing she did was to curse whoever dared calling her at this time of the night. Then she frowned because she saw Aubrey's caller ID. She picked up the phone, and now she was there. At three in the morning. On that blue plastic chair, waiting for anyone to come and talk to her about the situation.

Aubrey tried her hardest to stay strong, but the tears were simply rolling down her cheeks. She couldn't help it, the waiting was terrible. She squeezed Jesse's hand each time she felt like sobbing again. She had stood up when Beca had arrived at the hospital. She seemed really tired. And she must be. She must have felt exhausted. But how could the brunette know? She didn't ask. In fact, since she arrived at the hospital, she did hadn't asked a single thing. She was being patient, maybe too much for her own good. She just had to wait for the doctors. Finally, a few minutes later, the doctors came in.

Jesse did not want to interfere. He knew Chloe, they were friends because Bree and him were together. They appreciated each other. But Chloe wasn't Jesse's best friend, nor her lover. Even if Beca never admitted her feelings towards the redhead, everyone knew from the start there was a thing between the two girls; a connection, a bound. Now there probably wasn't much left.

Jesse stood up as the same time as the two other girls when they saw two doctors come in to the waiting room, with miserable looks on their faces. He knew this wasn't going to be easy, not for Aubrey, not for Beca, not even for him. He just stood behind the two girls, his arms crossed over his chest, listening to the doctors. From what he could understand, she was not dead yet, but she would be any time soon, it'd be just a matter of time. If they wanted to say goodbye to her, it was now or never. Jesse thought about the redhead's parents who were probably sleeping at this time, and who wouldn't have the chance to say goodbye to their little girl. He was pushed off from his thought when he felt Aubrey's body almost falling into his arms. She could not hold the tears anymore. He held her tight, making her sit down for a bit. He looked at Beca, telling her to go, go and tell Chloe her last words.

Beca Mitchell did not cry. She wasn't like that. It did not make her any less human. It's just, she was not an emotional person at all. She cried when her mother passed away and she cried when she thought her heart had been broken by some boy in 8th grade. And she could see how stupid it was now, because right now, the only thing she could think about, is how Johnathan Staylor did not break her heart, it wasn't even close. Her heart was truly being broken right now, in front of her eyes.

Chloe laid still in the hospital bed. Everything was white. The room's walls, the shirt she was in, even her skin looked pale. Her eyes were closed, there was no machine to help her breath or anything. There was just one machine, making a regular sound, informing Beca that Chloe Beale's heart was still beating in her chest at the time.

Apart from some scratches on her head, she looked totally fine. It was almost like, it was a big joke. Maybe it was? Maybe she would wake up any minute, smiling, laughing and telling her that "she should have seen her face because it was so funny." But Beca knew it wasn't funny, and that she would not open her eyes.

The brunette stepped forward towards the bed. Everything was silent, except from that one machine. She stood next to Chloe, hesitating for a moment, and then looking at the redhead's hand that laid on the white sheets, alongside her body. Beca feared that, if she touches Chloe at the moment, her friend would break, like if she was gonna get away at just one touch.

"This is so stupid." Beca said, wiping the tears that fell from her eyes. She looked around her, but she was all alone. She would have never thought about being in this situation ever again.

Last time she was in a hospital, addressing her last words to someone, it was her mother. She was nine at the time, and she wasn't sure what was happening. She didn't understand, and now that she was a grown up, Beca kind of regretted to only have say "goodbye mommy" to her mother.

She grabbed a chair that was in the corner of the room and sat still next to Chloe. She buried her head in her hands and sighed. Why was all of this happening to her? What on earth had she done to deserve this? The two people she truly loved, gone. Was it her fault? Was it because of her? Was something wrong with Beca Mitchell? She hated herself so much right now. Even more, she hated the 45 year old drunk man that hit her best friend with his truck while she was at a stop sign.

She swears to God, if she could, she would track this man and make him regret to even have thought about the bottle he drank tonight. She would made him pay for his mistake, and she did not care if anybody would try and stop her, he would have to pay.

Beca looked back at Chloe for a moment. She looked at her chest, which was rising, and then falling, and rising again. What if she made it? But reality took over her, she won't make it. She opened her mouth, ready to tell her last words but then, the room stayed silent. She thought about what to say, over and over again. Because, maybe Chloe could hear her after all. She could not move, and she won't stay alive for long, but maybe she could still hear her.

Beca smiled sadly. Chloe looked like an angel. Such a beautiful angel, who was now on her way back to heaven. She did not bother to wipe the tears anymore, she just grabbed the redhead's hand. It was so cold, and she was still breathing. Beca closed her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Chloe." She said, finding that it was harder to admit it out loud. "I should have been there, I should have done something."

She looked away from Chloe for a moment, god it was hard.

"I wish I would have told you." she paused, swallowing hard, trying her hardest not to cry. "I wish I would have told you sooner that I loved you. That you are the most magnificent person that I ever met."

She looked back at her now, hoping she'd open her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Chloe Beale for not telling you sooner, how much I care about you. And I swear to God I will hunt down this jerk who did this to you, and I'm going to make him pay." She was crying so hard it was hard to breath at this time. But she let the words fell from her mouth.

"You were my rising star Chloe. You made my days brighter, and for now on, I know the day will be a bit darker than they used to be. The world will miss you so much. I will miss you so much." She got up, still looking at her, leaning to her ear

"I've never loved someone as much as I love you Chloe. You are my angel. Take a good care of yourself wherever you're going." And then, she placed a soft kiss on her forehead, she let go her hand and turned back.

When Beca returned back in the waiting room, she had dried her tears. She only told Jesse and Aubrey they could go see her one last time and that she was heading home. Jesse offered her a ride but she said no. She needed time for herself, she needed to get home by herself.

And it was winter, and it was freezing, and Beca only wore a sweatshirt, jeans and her converse, but still, she decided to return home by foot. She needed to think, she needed time. When she arrived in her little apartment, she kicked off her shoes and went straight to bed, she put herself under the cover, and watched the minutes pass on the clock that was on her nightstand. And really, all Beca could think about right now, was Chloe Beale.

_All I want is nothing more_

_To hear you knocking at my door_

_'Cause if I could see your face once more_

_I could die a happy man I'm sure_

_When you said your last goodbye_

_I died a little bit inside_

_I lay in tears in bed all night_

_Alone without you by my side_

Beca was thinking of the last time she would have seen the redhead. It was earlier that day. The brunette had gone at around five to Chloe and Aubrey's apartment. The blonde girl was on a date with Jesse so Chloe had begged Beca to come over.

The brunette couldn't have said no even if she wanted to. She came in with a bottle of wine for Chloe and some beers for herself, because she really wasn't the wine type. Chloe had told her she was the cutest and dragged her into the kitchen, asking her for help with tonight's dinner.

They had laughed, and they had talked, and it seemed like they were an old couple, still in love after so many years. And Chloe hugged Beca, and from time to time, she placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, and the brunette would blush but her friend wouldn't make a comment about it because she knew it would make Beca uncomfortable. But Chloe found it so adorable.

They ate, and watched a comedy, even though Beca claimed to hate them. This one was actually a good one. And Chloe being curled up against her, made it all feel even better. But at some point, the brunette had to leave because Aubrey came back from her date. Even if Chloe offered Beca to stay because she had drink and it was late, the brunette smiled and said no, she better go home and she would have all day tomorrow to see her. Chloe sadly smiled, asking her to be careful and text her when she'd get home. She leaned to place another kiss on Beca's cheek, but this time, the kiss nearly fell on the brunette's lips.

Beca's cheeks turned red, and she apologized, Chloe laughed at her friend's confusion and said "See you tomorrow Becs, love ya."

Those where Chloe Beale's last words to Beca Mitchell. "See you tomorrow Becs, love ya." The brunette couldn't help herself thinking, did she love her? Not in a friendly manner, but Chloe loved her. Like, she loved her? Was she aware of her feelings toward her friend? Had she any clue?

_But if you loved me_

_Why'd you leave me?_

_Take my body_

_Take my body_

_All I want is,_

_And all I need is_

_To find somebody._

_I'll find somebody like you._

_Oh oh_

_So you brought out the best of me,_

_A part of me I've never seen._

_You took my soul and wiped it clean._

_Our love was made for movie screens._

Chloe must have known. She must have known that Beca liked her in that way. Because Beca Mitchell was so closed off from everyone. She hated any human touch, she hated hanging out with people. She only loved her mixes. And Chloe Beale. Since the first day, when the older girl barged into her shower and sang Titanium with her. She knew there would be something different about her.

Chloe Beale had shown Beca that she was more than she thought. Because like a lot of teenagers, Beca only used to see herself as a burden, as an anti-social and weird girl that anyone wanted to avoid because she just, did not fit in. And Chloe came in. She pulled down Beca's walls in just a few weeks. She let the brunette open up to her in a few months, and she made her fall in love with her in just a second. Chloe showed Beca she had excellent music skills, and pushed her to send some demos to some music records. Chloe showed Beca that she was beautiful, physically and mentally. Chloe showed Beca that her personality was what made Beca who she truly was, and that she should never change for anything in the world, and she also admitted that the sarcastic remarks seemed hot and sexy from the brunette's mouth. And of course, when she heard that, she had blushed.

Beca knew she could not replace Chloe, even if she wanted to. She knew no one on earth would make her feel the way the redhead made her feel. And sure, in time, she may find another girl to love, but it won't be the same, and deep inside, she would never forget about the redhead. Because she loved Chloe so much, and a part of her will just keep loving her till her very last breath, and a part of her mind will just keep thinking about her every single day. And a part of her heart will just keep aching because she won't be there anymore to hold her when she needs it the most.

_But if you loved me_

_Why'd you leave me?_

_Take my body,_

_Take my body._

_All I want is,_

_And all I need is_

_To find somebody._

_I'll find somebody._

_Oh_

_If you loved me_

_Why'd you leave me?_

_Take my body,_

_Take my body._

_All I want is,_

_All I need is_

_To find somebody._

_I'll find somebody like you._

_Oh_


	2. One Day

**Hi folks, i've decided to write a second part to this OS cos i was feeling like it! Hope you enjoy it. **

* * *

"One day it's here and then it's gone, how are you still holding on? How are you still holding on?" - _One Day_, Kodaline.

Beca felt an arm slide around her waist, pulling her closer to themself. The little brunette smiled, her eyes still shut. She loves to wake up next to Chloe. She'd feel the redhead's hot breath against her neck, and most of the time it would send her goosebumps through her entire body, but she did not mind, not one bit. She loved it, she enjoyed it. Beca turned around, about to open her eyes, about to face her best friend and ask her if she slept well.

And so the tiny girl slowly opened her eyes, a smile still playing on her lips, ready to be mesmerized by the beauty that is Chloe Beale. However, her smile faded along with her dream, because all she saw in front of her was emptiness. Then she remembered, she remembered it all. Last night, the accident, the hospital, Chloe. She tightened her grip around the sheets of her bed and clenched her jaw. She would not cry. She will not cry. Beca Mitchell did not cry.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds, her body was aching and she was cold. She had slept in her jeans and sweatshirt from the previous day and she could swear that she had the biggest hangover that mankind has ever measured after a night long of partying. But that pain was not a hangover, because she wasn't partying all night. She was with Chloe, and then at the hospital, and now she's lying here.

It was raining outside, she could hear the raindrops against her window. She thought it was an odd coincidence, and for a moment, she wondered if it really was a coincidence. She sighed, looking at her alarm clock on her nightstand. It was almost eight in the morning. She did not feel like moving, nor eating, nor anything else to be honest. She wanted to stay in bed a little longer, but she was cold and she felt dirty somehow, and her head was about to explode because of all the tears she had shed last night.

Beca managed to gather enough strength to push herself up and sit down on the edge of her bed. She wasn't sure if this was all a big nightmare or not. It sounded like it, and she was still convinced that Chloe was going to call her at any moment, telling her that it was all a big prank and that she fell for every single part of it. Only it wasn't, and while she was on her way to take a shower, she received a text from Aubrey. The funeral is on Friday.

* * *

It had been a beautiful ceremony. Everyone was there, all the friends and family members of Chloe. Her parents were in the front row with alongside them; Aubrey and Beca. Of course a lot of people were present, and Beca only knew a few of them, but she still took the hands they offered her to shake, she still answered "Thank you" when being told "Sorry for your loss" over and over again. And honestly, Chloe was just her best friend, she was not sure why so many people came to her. It's not like they were together. They will never be. Beca's heart tightened a little bit just at the thought of it.

The brunette did not let a single tear escape. She held Aubrey's hand and she listened to the pastor. She listened to Chloe's mom who tried to say a few words, but broke down halfway through her speech, she watched Aubrey stand up and finishing the said speech instead. She watched all the people passing by Chloe's coffin, muttering some last words. She felt numb. She felt lonely. She needed her, but she wouldn't be there anymore to hold her hand, and that scared her beyond imagination.

* * *

Beca kind of dropped the whole a-cappella thing after what happened. She wasn't sure if she was completely abandoning the Bellas yes, she just simply needed some times for herself. She explained to the girls that she would stop coming to the rehearsals for a while, and of course they understood. They tried to cheer Beca up a little bit, and Beca smiled, at least she tried. But it simply wasn't the same now.

Fat Amy stopped by her apartment a few times. She kept coming over to drop some food off for her friend, because she knew way too well that Beca did not cook and she was pretty sure that in these hard days, she would barely even feed herself. She opened her fridge once and all she found inside was some milk that had run out of date and some cheese that was barely eatable. Every time she stopped by though, she found the food on the counter that she had left before, and it hadn't been touched. Fat Amy sighed. She tried to talk to Beca, but it was all just small talks and every time, the brunette claimed to be exhausted or that she had some work to do on some mixes.

Once a week, Aubrey came by to clean Beca's apartment. The tiny girl told her she did not have to, but Aubrey did not mind. In fact, if she had to be true to herself, it was more beneficial to her than to Beca. By doing that, she kept her mind busy for an hour or two, and she did not have to cry for the loss of her best friend. And even though Jesse was a great person, she was not sure anything or anyone could make her feel better at the moment, so Aubrey came here and cleaned. This way, she kept her mind occupied instead of letting it wander back to the memories of her deceased friend.

Jesse had tried to talk to Beca, calling her a few times, but the young girl simply ignored it. She answered to some of his texts, but that was all. She still needed time to understand that Chloe was gone, because it still seemed too fake. But one day it finally hit her that she really was gone, and that's when she finally accepted it.

The brunette girl was in her room (she barely left it anyway now), lying down on her bed. She hadn't cried in weeks. She did not think about it though, she did not wanted to cry. Even if she was alone and even if nobody could see her, she wanted to understand. She tried to sit down and grab her laptop that was on her desk. As she leaned over, her phone fell on the floor, making her groan. If Chloe was there, she would have probably laughed at Beca and the brunette would have just glared at her before laughing as well. Beca smiled a little at the thought of it.

She tried to reach for her phone that was probably somewhere under her bed, but her hand caught something else instead. Beca looked at what she was holding in her hand. It was one of Chloe's t-shirts. She smiled, a hint of sadness hitting her. She slowly brought the fabric up her nose, it still smelled like Chloe. It smelled like Chloe, and Chloe was gone. That's when the realization hit Beca again, and all of a sudden, everything became really painful.

She was sitting on her bed, legs crossed, holding the t-shirt tightly as if her life depended of it. At this moment, it kind of did, because Chloe's parents had taken all of her stuff back and she had never asked Aubrey to keep anything for her, and now, all she had left of Chloe was this pink t-shirt that still had her scent. Beca knew it wouldn't take long before the scent would fade, but it was all she had for now, and she started to cry. She started to cry all the tears she had been holding up for three weeks now. She started to feel the pain, the guilt and the loss taking over her. She missed her, oh God did she miss her. She was barely able to breath, and she was praying, praying the Gods whoever they were, to give her another chance, to bring her back, to let her arms slip around her waist one more time, to feel her lips against her cheeks, the warmth of her smile. But it was all in vain.

Beca was all alone now, and she started to understand that. Chloe was gone, Chloe would not come back. Beca had to do it, she had to do it all, without her, without her best friend, without the woman she loved. And she wished, oh Lord did she wish to have told her sooner, how much she had loved her, and how much she still does now that she was gone. It would be painful, but eventually, Beca would make it, because Chloe never lost faith in her, and she knew she had to make her proud. She held the shirt against her chest and waited for the tears to stop falling. She felt her breath getting steadier and she smiled through the small shudders of her body. She was going to make her proud.


End file.
